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50 REASONS NOT TO DATE A GRAPHIC DESIGNER

50 REASONS NOT TO DATE A GRAPHIC DESIGNER

1. They are very weird people.
2. There are billions of them in the world, like colors on the screen of your computer.
3. They will analyze conversations in layers.
4. You will spend the day assembling furniture from IKEA.
5. They drink and eat all kinds of weird shit just because they like the packaging.
6. They hate each other.
7. You’ll come out the last out of the movies because you have to see the full list of credits.
8. They cant change a light bulb or without making a sketch.
9. They fuck up all the tables with their cutters.
10. They rather study the paisley pattern on your outfit than listen to what you have to say.
11. They will fill your house with magazines and whatever is out there that has drawings.
12. You never know if it is really an original or a copy.
13. They make collages with your photos.
14. They do not know how to add and subtract, they just understand letters.
15. They idolize people who nobody knows and speak of them as if they were his colleagues.
16. They take pictures almost daily and all are cut in weird shapes.
17. They ask your opinion about everything but  they do whatever they want.
18. Everything is left justified, right or center unless they arrive late.
19. They hate Comic Sans with the same passion they love Helvetica.
20. They use iPhone for everything, because everyone has one.
21. You can not decorate the house without consulting them.
22. They steal street signs.
23. Always carry their hands painted with something.
24. They buy dolls unfinished for them to paint.
25. Everything becomes something other than what it really is: cards as tickets, cards as …
26. When arguing, you will be nicknamed like the OSX spinning wheel (not affectionately)
27. Do not know how to dress without consulting the Pantone book.
28. They hate Excel.
29. They read comics.
30. They want to save the world only with a poster.
31. You will spend the day brainstorming.
32. On vacation they will take you to countries that you do not know exist and have no beach.
33. Museums are their second home.
34. They know more positions than the Kamasutra.
35. They can’t go to a restaurant without secretly critiquing the menu design.
36. They listen to music you have never heard of.
37. They can´t cook a normal dish, they always have to experiment with new ingredients.
38. They read rare books: stories of children, Semiotics …
39. When you are going to tell you something, everyone has read it in their facebook and twitter.
40. They have own iPods before you knew they existed.
41. The orgasm they remember is when they heard that Adobe was acquiring Macromedia.
42. They have their own shops just for them and there are the most expensive in the city.
43. They want to spend all the money in the Apple Store.
44. You will never understand their gifts.
45. They see ordinary objects and laugh.
46. You wake up in the middle of the night hearing them screaming “When is the deadline?”
47. They see CMYK and RGB like Neo sees the Matrix.
48. They dream of the day nobody will make a single change to their designs.
49. They rather pay for a font than for a special birthday gift.
50. They are always sleepy because they work 24/7.

6 responses

  1. Brandy Fell

    LOVE IT! Especially #18. Hilarious.

    January 9, 2012 at 10:58 am

  2. Becky

    Some editing errors, but all-in-all very funny and true!!!

    March 17, 2012 at 1:18 am

  3. lito

    this was probably written by a graphic artist. it takes one to no one.

    June 4, 2012 at 6:07 am

  4. Mary

    Hello, How do I get in touch with you? There is no email or contact info listed .. please advise .. thanks .. Mary. Please contact me maryregency at gmail dot com

    June 8, 2012 at 2:49 pm

  5. Ivy

    im just a design student at the moment but some of the things on this list ive been doing since forever. hilarious!

    September 2, 2012 at 11:39 am

  6. Annie

    honestly … these are wealthy graphic artist traits … mine would be a little different since I am homebound due to illnesses, so online museums are my second home …. which is what led me to your site (the art nouveau page) …. and I like comic sans because it is softer … helvetica is so normal …. I’d rather have some type of art nouveau font any day … pretty funny list … much of it I can relate to …. much of it I WISH I could relate to, such as affording a camera to take photos, etc. take care

    February 7, 2013 at 1:23 pm

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